Just recently our friends had what you can consider a “close call”. Charles, Gerardo and Richard were excited to get back on the grind lately and decided to go to their usual spot to paint some steel. Little did they know on that particular night they were going to be hopping barbwired fences while avoiding an arsenal of cop cars surrounding the block. Here’s a recollection of what went down that night that would make any ninja proud.
Right as they entered the yard nonchalantly, Charles, Gerardo and Richard quickly scoped up and down the tracks to make sure that the coast was clear. As they were getting ready, they hear the ringing of a bell, alerting them that a train was coming in to park. As the train entered the yard they saw a bright flashlight flickering across the distance. Richard didn’t think twice except that it was maybe the conductor doing his usual rounds checking in and out of the lines. After the coast was clear, they walk yet again around the yard to see if everything was ok. As all 3 of them separated within the mazes of the tracks to cover the perimeter at a quicker pace, they were approached by an unusual character at the end of the tracks looking back and forth at them in between the shadows. That’s weird? What kind of bum would be doing that? So they walked back towards the other way to avoid the unknown individual and see yet another person walking towards them. Strange, another one of those fuckers? Just as Charles, Gerardo and Richard got closer to the individual they catch a glimpse of that shiny little thing on the left side of the chest that everyone dreads to see during the late night hours, a cop badge. It was a fucken setup!
After taking a few seconds to realize that the spot was a roust, it was everyone for themselves. Charles, Gerardo and Richard quickly dropped all of their backpacks full of brand new paint and frantically scurried away as if they were trying out for the ghetto olympics hopping the first of many barbwired fences to come. After running into an open lot full of truckers wondering what in the fuck these 3 characters were doing there, they quickly tried hiding in a dark cornered area where they spotted a cop car from the distance waiting for them with the lights turned off. One of the truckers that were working there got on his cellphone and walked straight towards Charles, Gerardo and Richard, letting them know that they were not welcomed and that he was calling the cops. So they quickly hopped yet another barbwired fence, but this time around the cop car down the block came rushing towards them with the spotlight on them just roughly about 20ft away! Shortly after being spotted and running through a pile of car doors and hopping yet another barbwired fence they run into yet another open lot. This time with nowhere to go. FAWK!
While Gerardo was frantically running around in circles with nowhere to run, Richard tried hopping into a set of stacked tires trying to camouflage his way into the night. (You would be surprised as to what your mind will think of when you’re pumped with adrenaline and getting chased by cops.) While all of this was going on Charles looked over towards the right and found their savior; a telephone pole extending roughly about 30 feet high up in the air next to a building with a rooftop. All 3 of them quickly scaled the telephone pole in less than 5 seconds and hid away into the night.
45 minutes come along and they call in for a getaway car to get picked up. As they were frantically waiting for the car to arrive they receive a text message from the driver letting them know that there are approximately 12 cop cars surrounding the whole block with their lights turned off waiting for some movement in the streets. Charles, Gerardo and Richard were pretty much SOL (shit out of luck) at this point. To make matters worse they hear the ghettobird flying right above them as the helicopter dims their lights. Either the ghettobird was extremely stupid or they didn’t know how to turn on their infrared sensors but Charles, Gerardo and Richard lucked out that night. The ghettobird flew right passed them.
2.5 hours go by and Richard needs to take a piss. Just great. As all 3 of them lay on top of the roof with only a 1.5 foot wall concealing them, Richard leans over towards the side of his hip, unzips his zipper and drains his lizard…sideways while almost pissing all over his leg.
A couple more hours go by and Charles, Gerardo and Richard are wondering why they’re not at home asleep at these hours and thinking twice about ever doing this again. A couple shooting stars pass by and an extremely foul stench breeze by everyone’s noses. Charles quietly whispers, “Yo, I got to take a shit.” As Richard & Gerardo laid there giggling like little school children playing hide and go seek, Charles slowly crept 15 feet away, unbuckled his pants and took his shit…sideways. All while taking off his wife beater to wipe his ass.
After a 5 hour wait while taking naps in between and trying to stay calm throughout the whole fiasco Charles, Gerardo and Richard hear noises from underneath them. It was the workers of the building getting ready for work. They needed a getaway car, and quick. Shortly afterwards, the getaway car arrives and everyone hops down into safety while Ricardo bruises his heel jumping down from the telephone pole. Upset The Setup. FML…
